Hello world, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Whitney W.K. Welcome to my website.
I grew up in the heart of America’s Midwest. More specifically, I lived 17 years in a suburb north of Chicago, where I spent most of my childhood reading books like, “The Shape of Me and Other Stuff” and dreaming of becoming an astronaut. When I was diagnosed with astigmatism, I gave up on my dreams and blamed my mother for the insignificance of my existence. I blamed her even more for having to uproot my life and move out of state midway through high school. I spent a couple of years in Michigan (resenting my mother) before attending college in Indiana and ultimately becoming best friends with my mother.
I graduated from Ball State in 2007 and moved to Orlando. I spent four months laying by the pool and overeating my way right out of my entire wardrobe before landing a job working for a publishing company as a marketing copywriter. I now work for the very same publishing company doing online marketing, specifically SEO and web analytics. I’ve got a fancy, schmantzy title that I won’t bore you with reciting.
My favorite color is chartreuse. I love justice. And I love grammar. And I love ice cream. I write mostly in pencil. I’m a pretty fantastic speller. I love to dance. I don’t eat anything that used to have a face or a mom. My suitcase-packing skills are unparalleled. If I could have any superpower, I’d choose teleportation. I’m a pathological picture taker. I collect mugs and necklaces and scarves and every other object known to man because I’m a total packrat. I love dog training. I am learning sign language. I want to travel the world. I’m too sensitive. And too angry. And too anxious. And sometimes lost. But I’m also really, really happy.
I live in Orlando, Florida (aka Paradise, America) with my dreamy golfer fiancé husband, Patrick, and our panda/dog, Kya. You’ll probably see Patrick on television one day. Kya too.
