As seen in GQ « Anything Lime

As seen in GQ

In preparation for our trip across the country, Patrick stopped at an outdoorsy-type store (which is not a likely place for a vegetarian animal rights activist to frequent) to pick up Croakies for our sunglasses. In case you’re wondering what Croakies are, they’re the string-like straps that keep your sunglasses from falling off, especially while boating or fishing. They’re also a clear indicator of whether a person is single.

I packed my pair away so that I would have them when the time came to fasten them onto my glasses should I be engaging in some kind of activity that would necessitate eyewear retention. And only then. Patrick, however, stepped out of Gander Mountain and immediately hooked them in place.

And he’s still wearing them.

Armani is probably cringing.

I will admit that Patrick pulled them off quite well. So well, in fact, that I’m proposing he be the official face of Croakies. I’ve even taken the liberty of writing the ad copy.

Croakies: A farmer’s tan for your neck.

Croakies: For when you want everyone to know you vote Republican.*

Croakies: Finally you can have that rat tail your wife won’t let you grow.

Croakies: For when you’re pondering life’s greatest mysteries.

Croakies: For when you’re in the dessert and found you’ve forgotten to pack your tie.

Croakies: As versatile as you are inventive.

The fact that he can look this good with an eyesore on cascading down the back of his head and hanging around his neck means he can pretty much pull off anything. Hmmmm, now there’s an idea I can turn into a recurring blog segment: Look How Well My Husband Can Pull Off This Putrid Fashion Statement.